Was I so wrong, am I the fool?

My wife treats like a chore. It's is very routine (kiss, kiss, oral her, oral me, , kiss, goodnight) and pretty infrequent. When we do, I think she is faking an just to get me to hurry on to so she can get it over with. For example one night, she supposely had an , but when we moved on to she stated she needed a little lube. Lube after an ? That definitely didn't compute. Anyway, let's fast forward to last night, we are both recovering from a nasty cold/virus or somethign. I tried to ask her for on Sat night. I got this very reluctant ok, I guess from her. I tell her I don't want her too if she still feels sick or isn't really into it, I've never wanted to be the type of husband to force himself on his wife. She complains that she just wants her cold to go away and she still has a bad cough. Needless to say nothing ended up happening. I wake up the next day for her to tell me she's on her way to Soccer practice. This felt like a knife through my heart. I know I gave her a free p the night before but suddenly I feel like she's ok to play Soccer but not be with me. I felt suddenly like she had more desire to play soccer than she did for her husband. Well I kind of lost it, got really mad for a few and stormed off. Later in the day I calmed down, and very calmly told her that it hurt my feelings, that I felt Soccer was more important to her than I was, that I felt like she had no desire to be with me. She doesn't say a word at the time, just absorbed my comments and we moved on. Fast forward to that night, she does indeed offer herself to me, but it was a kind of sarcastic "So...do you wanna go upstairs"? I felt like it was just her trying to appease me because I made comments earlier. So I tell her yes and no. I say it really hurt me feelings that Soccer seemed so much more important than me, and that I felt she had no desire". At this point, I was only looking for a small gesture. Walk over, look me in the eye tell me I'm being an idiot and give me a pionate kiss, grab my hand, lead my upstairs, anything. Instead she stared at me for a couple minutes and says "I don't know what to say, sorry you feel that way" and walked out of the room. It was the complete opposite of what I needed at that moment. I tried following her and re-engaging her in the conversation, it blew up into an argument of course and now she's pretty much not speaking to me. All I really want is for my wife to want me, not just appease me. After 8 years of marriage, and being together 14 years, am I asking too much? Is the flame of pion and desire gone after so long? I don't feel that way, when I look at her my heart melts, when I touch her I feel heat from her skin. I love the way she smells, the way she feels in my arms, etc. and I want her to feel the same about me. Is this the result of too much Hollywood? Too much scarlet johanssen? I need real advice from real people. Am I an oversensitive fool? Should I just be happy she's agreeing to any at all even if it's just going through the motions for my sake? I have such strong emotions and am at a lost what to do about them.